Men, tell me: why do you spend heaps of money on women (or fellow gay men)? As the saying goes, “Only fools part with their money.” I want to add, “Only fools part with their money, and dumber fools don’t use their money to make money and/or career choices.” An off the record politician’s quote: “Think with your head, not your heart or your pants.” Followed by my favorite off the record quote ever said... 

I’m trying to cool off with some classic junk reading. I mean, reading for five minutes to get my mind off developing low calorie meal recipes. Is this too much to ask? Every magazine has this same old “how to date as a woman; don’t do that!” article rewritten on a quarterly basis. It, for lack of a cooking term here, “boils down” to women not dating like men because it scares men away. Don’t do this; don’t do that. Follow rules set... 

I saw this girl I like talking with recently. Sort of weird, huh? We talk about every year when we see each other in person. We met at church years ago when I was 17. She asked me, “Have you been to the parish?” and I politely said, “When I’m in the area.” What else should I have said? I went to the same church again around Octoberish-Novemberish last year for a memorial thing. She told me she went also – why didn’t we bump into... 

Every year, some disaster/breaking news happens and for a reason I cannot learn, dumb viewers praise anchors for others’ work. I mean it. Since I remember watching the news, I wanted to ask my schoolteachers McEnroe style, “You cannot be serious?!!!” each time they were inspired by oh, a news host reporting from Iraq a few days. Typically, someone, like fictional lazy TV journalist Ann Chorwoman, hops on a plane to our location of said big event.... 

After being asked to write more culturally relevant material here, probably believing I don’t talk in the “If a tree falls in a forest does it matter?” view, your wish is my command. Here we go. At 15, a woman who didn’t know me well asked me over the phone, “Why don’t you join Eagle Forum?” Had she met me in person, she would have insisted, “Please, you and your ilk should stay 10 blocks away from Eagle Forum meetings.” I am a pretty... 

Today, my friends, I give you the classic cliched pre-date help article from a women’s publication, this time, Canadian site Slice – take it away with “What Your Outfit Says to Him.” Or have me paraphrase. According to a female writer’s deep investigation – because sure, a straight (presumably) woman knows a thing or two about dating women: -Do NOT dress too well. “Being over-dressed can be overkill.” -But don’t dress... 

“Real women.” Oh, come on! You and I hear this phrase all the time. Or “real men.” I myself have spoken the phrases meaning, in my head, “real consumers, book readers and people who buy things are not products. Let’s make them worthy of good products that really work.” I mean it as in “realistic.” Realistically, people are going to want to, for example using my last cooknook, want to cook restaurant food at home without paying the... 

Have you ever wondered, you history buffs, about castle warfare? Because I did. Read all about it here! A sampler: “Siege weaponry was usually created at the scene of a siege. The battle commander would assess the scene and determine what weapons were needed to attack at that particular site. Most siege weapons were large and cumbersome and couldn’t have been transported over long distances.” Really I always wondered the real purpose... 

“I don’t think anybody our age watches 60 Minutes.” A friend my age in response to my asking why ABC tries to make older anchors do hip things stupididly instead of hiring actual smart, young anchors who do them naturally. FYI, I reminded him that’s on CBS but also fails miserably at trying to look young for young people who don’t watch it. Pulling a Zoolander here…>EARTH TO PRODUCERS. GET YOUNGER WRITING STAFF, READERS,...